f-e-e-b-l-e-n-e-s-s

having to wake up early everyday before the sun rises pisses me off! actually, my schedule for this term kinda irritates me. im not really more of a morning person. well, i dont wake up minutes before lunch but at least i get up from the bed after the sun sets in the east. im too lazy for morning stuffs.

this day, i stumble out from the bed around 6:30 and my class starts actually at 7. so ive got 30 minutes to do everything. i have no time to lift a spoon for my breakfast or even blow a word out of my mouth. i impetously poured water on me and didnt care to do my rituals just to be at school exactly on time. i didnt even bother to choose which clothes match my mood, i just pick whatever's there. i came to school almost 10 minutes early but still, i was late. anyway, i didnt matter.
7-8 NATSCI13 - the teacher's so good that to her humaness, i did not pay attention.haha! all i remember is that i was seated next to a girl who kept smiling on me until the bell rang. and, i also discovered that our prof is only a part-timer in our school. i saw her running down the stairs as if a lion's running after her. then i realized, she's working else where.
8:10-9:10 COMSKI2X - i didnt attend my comski class. not because i dont have a homework but also i hate our new prof. he's gay! im not against the third sex! it's just that he thinks he doesn't belong to it and he's too gay to function.. from mean girls. also, my brain cells are not active during those times so i'd rather have some coffee somewhere else and of course, have my vitamin break.
9:20-11:20 PEONEF- the subject i swear to death. haha! for no reason at all, a stupid moron failed me on this subject. so give me one good reason to love this subject. but at least, that fucking bitch isnt my prof anymore. so, i think it's one enough reason to accept this subject again. i was late, as always. i wonder why in this class, i always come late on first meeting. okay, i wont waste time thinking too much bout it. im just a heavy-footed creature, that's all. i was isolated from the rest of my blockmates but it seemed nice to meet other creatures who were also nailed to this brain-sweating thing. our prof was way nicer that the one we had before. he's cool and sympathetic to students who don't like his subject. haha! i assume he hates what he teaches. our class is supposed to be dismissed on time but since none of us can hold off to each other's insensibility, he booted us 1hour before time. i love his nuttiness. mwah! but i must say, ive got the best P.E.mates ever. a lot of them are from mma. wahahahahaha. i have lots of apples to taste.
11:40-12:40 BMATX- business math. i have one thing more to hate for the rest of this term. i hate math. im bad at math and anything that has to do with math and logical thinking and calculations and numbers. i just hate it. it wont do me any good at all. im being so irrational but that's the truth. as we get old, we get wiser. probably not at math but we still get wiser. and soon, we'll forget everything about math so why study it if will only banish from our mind. it only adds up to the excess and non-functional things on our brain. ill stop here. im not in the mood.
dismissal- have i told you that for the rest of the term, i'll be suffering from halfday syndrome? yep.. im suffering from 5:30am syndrome and still suffer from half-day syndrome. this disorder that im experiencing will last for not more than 4 months. not to mention that i have encoutered this since nursery up to grade three and also during periodical tests and other school-related activities way, way back before. i guess im back to the old things again. wink*

gosh, im trying to cope up with everything. from my schedule to my school allowance. but i really can't! i have become an idle person since... i can't remember but im afraid i cant stop it. i need something to keep me on track but shit always happen. i cant keep an eye on things i usually care about eversince i changed. i had a word vomit. i did change. as much as i want to be the same person people knew from the start, i just cant. i have to accept it. i have no idea what led me to being a ridiculous, imbecile human being and im having a hard time figuring out what made me like this. for now, i just dont want to involve myself on anything. in that way, i wont get hurt. ill just let things pass through me without giving too much stress. everything's ruptured! mom! come back!