FOR THE RECOR D...gosh!so sick of this!

just when i thought everything ive dremt of was exactly falling into place, like there's nothing more i could wish for and when everything i've ever imagined was starting to be real..that a kind of crap like this one happened. i really felt like heaven and earth joined their forces to squeeze me to the point that my bones were falling like a debris. like my heart has been pounded by a millions of tons of whatever it is. i dont know what exactly to say or if there's still anything to say. i wanted to scream, to yell and to shout to the whole world how foolish i am for letting him do this to me but it seems that i'm running out of words to say.all because i've let it all out by crying! no one except for my bestfriend knows exactly how i feel. she's seen me go through this before and here i am again. someone told me that it's not the love that i'm holding on to, it's the hope that one day, he'll change for me. everything is just a cycle. i'll love, then i'll get hurt, i'll try to move on but never really let go. i don't know what made me like this. "for the record", i hate saying that! i hope the next time i'll say this, it's the time that for the record, i am literally and emotionally being loved. i hope in no time, i'll get over this. but for now, i'll try every possible way to get him off my head and live life as if nothing like this happened. screw love!